The Quest continues...
Part 8 - Prairie Wolf Sara continued walking through the woods, but the going was slow. It seemed that it was becoming more and more overgrown. Gnarled branches from the bushes on each side jutted into the path, catching her skirt and almost tripping her as she walked. Growing frustrated and fearful, she stopped and looked skyward. She could see bits of the sky and a few remaining clouds from the earlier rain through the branches of the trees that overhung the trail like a canopy. But, all around her was this forest, and when she looked back where she had been, it was as if the path behind her had disappeared. "Perhaps I made the wrong decision," she said aloud, "Maybe, I should have looked harder for a way to climb down to the Valley." "You can’t go back!" Sara was startled! "Who said that", she said, truly frightened. "I did, dear", the voice spoke again. "It is true, no matter how much you try to go back, you can only go forward." "Who are you?", Sara cried. "Where are you?" "I am here", the voice said, "in the tree". Sara looked up and there, sitting on a branch almost immediately over her head was the biggest owl she had ever seen, staring down at her. She immediately noticed it’s sharp beak and the length of its claws, that were securely wrapped around the branch, and was truly afraid. Quickly she grabbed a branch from the ground to defend herself should the owl attack. "You are going to strike me?" said the owl. "I don’t want to", said Sara, "but if you fly at me, I will". "But, why would I fly at you", said the owl. "I don’t know", said Sara, "but I don’t know you, and I don’t know where I am, or why I am here, or what will happen next". "Are you always afraid of what you don’t know or understand?" asked the owl. "I don’t know", said Sara, "I can’t remember how I was anymore". Suddenly, it seemed to her that the owl’s eyes were no longer menacing, and its face had taken on a kindly, gentle expression. She lowered the stick and said, "I’m sorry, I do not believe you mean me harm. I just don’t know where I am and I am lost." "Where are you going" said the owl. "I don’t know", said Sara. "Well, then", said the owl, "Where have you been." "I don’t know that either", said Sara. "So, how do you know you are lost, then?", said the owl. "Perhaps you are exactly where you should be." Somehow, Sara found the owl’s words strangely comforting. She looked at the owl, who seemed to be smiling now, and said, "do you have something for me". "Yes", said the owl, "that which you would have used with fear, now use with trust, and your path will become easier for you to walk". That said, the owl opened up its wings to a truly amazing span, and with a few strong flaps, flew skyward and out of sight. Sara stared after the owl until she couldn’t see it anymore, then looked down at the stick in her hand. She turned and started down the path again, tapping the stick on the ground in front of her like a cane. As if by magic, the branches parted, and the path became clear and easy to walk.
"Thank you," she said aloud and somehow knew the owl would hear.
Part 9 - Lady Wolf
The clench of anxiety that had held Sarah in it’s grip since her arrival seemed to ease with every step, yet her mind was still teeming with questions, and concepts, and the events she had encountered thus far. The density of the path, much to her relief, was continuing to diminish and the trees created an arch high above her, creating the sensation of walking inside a wooded tunnel. It felt as though she were being led somewhere and she recalled the Elder Sarah saying "or they are on a quest, such as you are right now." Those words suggested she had a cause, a purpose for being in this place and she said a silent prayer that she would soon understand. She had found solace in the owl’s words and could only hope that indeed, this was exactly where she should be.
Sarah strolled ahead on what was evolving into more of a lane, and she sensed it descending and beginning to curve slightly to the right. "Was this going back towards the valley?" she wondered. It seemed as though she’d been walking for quite awhile but then, she wasn’t sure if she should trust her traditional measure of time in this place. It seemed the light was changing, brighter somehow and she was no longer chilled as before yet she couldn’t actually see a sun through the trees. Her inquisitive eyes would catch glimpses of small things ahead whisking off the path and into the brush. There were strange noises, too. Scurrying in the undergrowth and thick piled leaves on the forest floor, but what they were, she could not see. Then Sarah smelled a familiar aroma that caused a vicious hunger pang to swell in her belly. Coming to a halt, she raised her nose slightly and shut her eyes. In the soft breeze that blew against her skin, she could smell bread of some sort. A pie? Or muffins possibly, but it was fresh baked to be sure and she was so very hungry. At a much quicker pace she tread forward and suddenly through the trees she could see what appeared to be a fork in the road ahead with a small cottage of sorts right in the middle. She slowed her walk and tried to approach the abode stealthily, always staying near the edge of road and a quick escape into the woods should the need arise. But oh praise be that scent was overwhelming her senses and she knew she must find it’s source if she was to keep going! Drawing nearer to the home now, she paused and studied it, looking for signs of what might reside there. It appeared to be suited for people but there was no activity within. She tilted her head to listen intently and other than the rustle of leaves from the breeze and her own heart thumping inside her now, there was no noise. She crossed the road and now at the crux of the adjoining paths she stood directly in front of the cottage. "Hello there!" she said and was startled at the sound of her own voice after being silent for so long. She paused. There was no response, so braving a few more steps, she saw them. There was a basket of loaves sitting on a bench just outside the wooden door of the home, underneath a window. It was a very plain structure without decoration and she could not gain a sense of whether this place was safe or harmful.Part 10 - Sister Wolf
Sara moved closer to the cottage. Her desire to reach out and simply take one of the loaves was tempered by her caution. She gently rapped on the door. There was no answer. She tried to pull down and then up on the worn iron handle, but it would not move. She knelt closer to the loaves of bread and breathed in their warmth. She was sure that the bread was just made, yet no one seemed to be around. The hope and excitement of seeing another person energized her and she got up and looked in the front window of the cottage. The interior was simple, plain, and clean. There was a small chair with a basket of sewing beside it, and a tiny cot covered with a quilt. A small brick fireplace took up one wall. In the center of the room was a long oak table with what looked like flour dusted upon its surface. At the end of the table was a large green bowl. On the far wall was a pump and a sink. Standing at the sink was a young woman. She looked familiar to Sara. Sara rapped on the window in hopes of getting the woman’s attention, but she stood fixed to her task. Sara ran around to the side of the cottage to a window just above where the young woman stood. Sara peered in. The young woman was washing small clay bowls. Her head was bent, but as Sara started to tap on the window, the young woman slowly raised her head and looked hard into Sara’s eyes. Sara began to shake gently, the woman was her. It was her, but a young her, maybe sixteen, maybe twenty, she wasn’t sure. She repeated her mantra "She guards me, I am safe. She knows me, and I know her". The young Sara smiled. "Hello" she said through the window glass. "I’ve been waiting for you." "Won’t you open the door or come out?" Sara asked. "I can’t. My place is here. Your past is here, and so is your memory. They are locked inside to keep safe. In here are the lessons you’ve learned but don’t yet recall. Are you hungry?" Sara could barely take it in. There didn’t seem anyway short of breaking the windows to get in, and a voice inside told her that it wouldn’t work anyway. Sara shook her head. "Yes, I am very hungry". "Good" said the young Sara. "Help yourself to the bread outside, it will help make you strong for the rest of your journey. Behind the cottage is a small creek from which flows fresh clean water. You may drink from there." Sara started toward the bread and then came back to the window. "Is there something you need to give me to take on my way?" "Just eat, you will feel stronger". Sara looked to her right and saw the creek gurgling through the rocks. She looked back at the younger version of herself, but the woman was gone. Sara pressed her face to the glass. The cottage had only one room. Where is she? Sara wondered. Sara went back to the front of the cottage and sat in the thick mossy grass near the loaves of bread. She took a deep breath looking around at the tall trees, the moss, the rocks, and the water. She broke off a piece of one of the loaves and bit into it. It was warm and yeasty. It had a nutty flavor to it. She had not realized just how hungry she was, and soon she was breaking off another piece, and another. As she chewed she suddenly bit down on something hard, and she cried out in pain. She spit the object out of her mouth and then picked it up to examine it. It was covered with bread, but Sara knew immediately what it was. It was a small golden replica of the very cottage she had tried to enter. The detail was incredible, and unlike the real thing, Sara could open the door and the windows. This was what she was to take with her. She walked to the creek. She got a drink of water and washed off the small cottage. Then she put the cottage in her pocket. Sara felt strong. She felt replenished and strangely calm. A voice whispered to her through the trees: "You have your past now Sara. It is a great source of strength. Take from it what you need." Sara smiled and patted her pocket. She walked to the front of the house and gazed at the two roads that stood before her.Part 11 - Adventure Wolf
She stood there and looked at the front of the cottage. On the door she noticed the grain of the wood formed into a perfect heart. She patted her pocket again and took out the little golden charm that she had found. There was that same image of the heart on the door. Now she remembered. It was all starting to come back to her. Of course, she had been given the gift of memory; now she knew who she was and where she came from.
She recalled the field of yellow, the tall golden sunflowers, acres and acres of them. When she stood on the top of the hill she could see them waving from the breath of the wind, swaying and swirling. When she walked through the fields with the blue sky overhead and the large green leaves, it always made her feel like she was part of a painting. Of course, it was the valley where she lived as a young girl. It was her parent’s home. And then she thought about what the girl in the cottage had told her, "Your past is here, and so is your memory." Sara knew, though, that something was different about her. The little voice inside her spoke to her, "Yes, you are different." She thought and thought and then heard the old woman’s voice, "...the longer you avoid the Valley and keep to the path, the more you must surrender when you enter the Valley." She felt like she had already surrendered something. What was it? What had she surrendered? Now she knew! She had received the gift of memory—but she had surrendered her old way of thinking. She no longer was fearful and afraid. Sara was now filled with love. Oh, it felt so good. She could see things that she hadn’t seen for many, many years. Her world looked so bright and beautiful. She could see colors again. The sun was shining. Her body felt lighter. It felt warmer. Then she remembered --- she felt like that young girl in the yellow field of sunflowers. Sara wanted to be loving forever, never to go back to fearing again. She wanted to keep this feeling of love. Keep love? Is that possible? Maybe she meant never lose this feeling ... never go back? Stay in the light, out of the darkness. How could she do that? She needed to think about that some more. As she turned away from the cottage, she noticed the beautiful expanse of wildflowers—all different from one another. She wanted to pick one of them to take with her on her journey. She didn’t know which one to chose. They were all so beautiful: Some were bright, several were colorful, many were very detailed, a few were plain; they were large and small, some short and some tall. All of the flowers were pretty, all were distinct, all were special. Which one would she choose? It didn’t really matter. She bent down and picked the one closest to her. She placed the flower over her ear, weaving the stem through her hair. Sara was ready to continue her journey. She no longer felt alone. She wasn’t afraid or fearful. She was excited about where her adventure would take her and what she would learn.Part 12 - Journey Wolf
What Sara had not considered was as she picked the flower, she was choosing her path, the one sloping to the right, perhaps the direction of the valley. She carried herself lightheartedly, nearly skipping with each step. She had not felt this good since...since...what on earth was before her in the path? Its bright primary colors looked so out of place in the woods and the music...it wasn’t only the sound of a calliope—the music notes danced from a box pulled by a clown on a bike. The banner words: "Welcome to Dreamtime II" swayed between tree limbs, swimming around the clown’s balloon bouquet. "Are you a sequel to my life?" Sara blurted out, not sure what to expect of this odd change of events. Sara drew nearer as the clown offered her a balloon. But something was not right about this gift. The clown offered her the blue balloon; she preferred the yellow one. He was adamant, however, that she grasp the threadlike string of his choice. Reluctantly she did and the clown was laughing at her as she peered into it’s primary blue, and felt her soul reach into darkness as the color changed to indigo, then black. The blackness oozed down the string until it grabbed hold of Sara’s hand, and the childlike notes of the calliope slipped off into some minor dissonance. Sara screamed as she felt herself spiral downward into nothingness for the few seconds that spanned eternity for her. Oh how she wished she would awake. Her fall was only broken by the curious fingers of tree roots grabbing at her like some famous movie star, not caring that her clothes were being ripped to shreds. Down she went until she reached bottom on a bed of leaves with odors emanating a thousand deaths. Sara found herself in a den where the only light came from the hole she fell through, which dejectedly, she noted, was much too far away for her to climb out of. She became more frightened as she heard rustling not more than a few feet in front of her. "Hello," said this crotchety, disembodied voice in the darkness, "Seems you’ve stumbled into my den by not paying attention to your heart, again." "ER, uh," the shaken Sara mumbled, still very frightened. "Oh, here, let me get this light...I don’t need it as I can see you, but I know you cannot see me." The smell of sulfur filled the air as a match was lit, followed by a glowing lantern brightening slowly. Sara blinked once, twice...what was this creature: the head of a fox, the arms and hands of a human, hooves and legs of a deer, the body of a bear...as if she had stepped into some Maurice Sendack book of new and exotic creatures? "Well, do not let my looks startle you as you, too, are a fright to see at the moment. No, no time to delve into my history because we have met for your sake." "Are you telling me that falling into this pit is a gift?""Not exactly the gift you are looking for. That will come in time. Here, follow me."
Sara was amazed at the swiftness of this creature as they lumbered down a narrow pathway that moved them from darkness to, not exactly light, but someplace lighter.
The creature turned to see Sara shiver and said, "Just a little farther, and I will bring you your gift."
They reached a cavernous opening and Sara could hear the underground waters flowing toward something bigger, but for now, the creature stopped her at a pool which glowed and pulsed purple and red.
"Here lies your truth, Sara, in this pool. I will leave you but do not be frightened. Take this cloak, made of Faerie cloth, and it will protect you from the cold, the heat, and render you invisible when necessary, but there will be a time when you must give it up. This will be one of the hardest decision you will have to make, but by giving it up, you will give yourself freedom. Remember this Sara. Now, look into the pool and face your past. Once you do this, you can return to the upper world."
Without a goodbye the creature and lantern disappeared into the bowels of the earth.
Part 13 - Changing Wolf
Sara carefully removed her shredded clothes and wrapped the fairy cloth the creature had given her around her cold naked body. The pool she had been left in front of continued to undulate as she stood over it, gazing into its depths. It had an almost hypnotic effect on her and she found that soon she could no longer look away from it. Its draw was so great it drained most her strength and she became woozy.Her legs suddenly gave way and she dropped to her knees, her eyes still gazing into the pool’s mesmerizing waters. "What is happening to me?" she thought to herself. Then the pool started to swirl, first just a little like a toilet flushing and then faster and faster until it was like a great tornado, pulling everything near it into its spinning depths.
Since Sarah happened to be one of those things, she too was drawn into its vortex. She tried her best to keep her head above the multi-colored liquid but she was so weak by this time that her struggles only seemed to hurt, not help her progress. She was eventually drawn into its revolving center, and the many colored abyss. Sara felt a great pressure for a short time encompassing her whole body, followed by a feeling of lightness, like floating on air. She had closed her eyes as she had been sucked into the abyss but now opened them, as this wonderful feeling of lightness engulfed her. She gazed slowly around herself, taking in the whole landscape. She found that she was in birchbark canoe, floating slowly down a multicolored river. On this river’s banks were many intriguing and familiar scenes. The boat pulled itself slowly up to the first of these scenes, and Sara knew instinctively that she should get out. Ahead of her on the bank was a reenactment of a day in her young adulthood. She remembered it as being a time when life had been very confusing for her. A time when she had made a decision that had ended up having profound consequences later on in her life. She recognized two of her best friends from that earlier time, Muriel and Gloria, who had been a part of that fateful day joining her here. She remembered the words of her older wiser version who had told her "Remember, nothing is ever written in stone. The past present and future all exist at the same time. If you desire, you may do it all over again, differently."
Part 14 - Kitsune Miho
As Sara approached the banks of the river in her canoe, she wondered if she should get out or go on. The river and the dappled sunlight were much more inviting than the re-enactment of this particular scene. She was not proud of that moment in time. Muriel and Gloria had pretended to be her best friends. She did not want to face them even though they might not, in this form, remember the outcome as she did.The voice said, "This is your movie. You may remake it here and now, play it backwards and forwards as many times as you like."
This intrigued Sara. First she played the movie as she wanted it to play....where Muriel and Gloria were her true friends. She started this version back when she had first met them in school and marveled at their charm, wit, and popularity. Oh to be like that. When they decided to befriend her, she felt like the ugly duckling transformed.
In this version they were her friends because she was smart and could carry on an interesting conversation where they all developed and learned more about themselves. They marveled at her wealth of knowledge from all the books she had read. Held discourses on the various roles of women through history, created their own fashion statements that were then picked up by others, wrote extremely clever papers, and got straight A’s.
In another version she was the popular one and they sought her out to warm themselves in her glory. Yet in another version, she never met them. She tried variations on these themes until her mind was exhausted.
Sara played all the movies out as far in the future from that fateful day as she could. In having the ability to do so, she realized that none of the other outcomes served her personally better or worse than the one she originally had experienced. Valuable lessons had been learned in her encounter with Muriel and Gloria after all. She was finally able to give up the shame and pain that plagued her since that fateful day.
The voice said, "My daughter, do you choose to keep the past you have found or do you desire to make a change? Have you studied how the matrix of the universe will be affected by your decision?"
Sara pondered this choice and wondered how Lana would feel about changing the past after what they had all done to her. How could she had almost forgotten Lana? She felt the voice smile.
Part 15 - Artemis Wolf
Sara had traveled far with feet made sore and blistered by miles of walking. Up hills and through verdant valleys the path continued onward. Passing through waving seas of green grassland, the road turned into a mixed woodland at the edge of a dark forest. Stopping for a rest on a log, near the cold, clear water of a small brook, Sara heard the sound of a horn being blown. Shortly thereafter, the thunder of horse’s hooves brought a small hunting party into the forest clearing.
From the midst of the hunters and barking hounds there rode a noble woman. Clad in shirt and trousers of forest green, with tall boots and leather jerkin. A bow and arrow case hung from her back. She looked at Sara with wry amusement, and then spoke to her.
"You have entered my forest domain, for I am the Lady of this woodland. Come and be my guest this evening."
Before Sara could respond to this invitation, the Lady of Woodlands had wheeled about on her horse and an attendant had brought a horse for Sara to mount. The riding party headed up a sylvan path. Sun beams dappled the green trees, ferns and moss-covered logs along the way. There was the rhythmic sound of water rushing on rocks as the forest path followed the twists and turns of a rushing stream.
Finally, after an unknown amount of time, the party arrived in a forest clearing where small, wooden buildings surrounded a great lodge made of logs. Sara was escorted to a comfortable room and provided with a new dress made of cloth woven of all the colors of earth, leaves and forest. After a chance to bathe in the soothing waters of a hot spring bath, Sara dressed and went to a great hall for an audience with the Lady.
The hall was filled with people, bustling about with trays of food for a great feast. Musicians strummed lutes and lyres, and the court of the Lady of Woodlands assembled at a large table. Beckoning to Sara to sit beside her, the Lady gestured to her from the across the large room.
Sara was both delighted at the comforts of this place, but also confused about the nature of her hostess. As if aware of this, the Lady spoke to her.
"This place is but a way station on your journey. Do not be lured by its delights, for your destiny lies elsewhere. Take what you need from here, and enjoy rest and replenishment. You must have the mind of a warrior and the patience of a huntress as you seek answers to the riddle of your life. I also have a gift for you to help you on your way."
With that, the Lady presented to Sara a bow and quiver of three arrows.
Each arrow was decorated, as was the quiver, with elaborate beadwork. The Lady then said, "Sara, you will know the correct time to use each of these arrows. Make good use of your gifts, and remember that the strength you take from this place will be with you whenever you need it."
After a good night’s sleep, a hearty breakfast of porridge, fruit and bread, Sara was ready to continue her journey. A young woman gave her a full knapsack packed with food and a gourd filled with water. It would have been very seductive to stay in this place forever, but she remembered the Lady’s words to her, and knew her destiny must take her elsewhere. As she headed up the path, the smell of wood smoke and the sounds of conversation became more distant. Turning one last time to look at the forest clearing she heard the words once more "She guards me. I am safe. She knows me and I know her."
OR GO
This site was last updated May 9, 2006.